As a fellow Muslim, I want to speak honestly about something I’ve seen happen too often: someone is considering marriage, things are going well, families are involved and then suddenly, they do Istikhara and back out. No clear reason. Just a feeling. Confusion. “Maybe Allah is telling me no.”

But is that really how Istikhara works?

We need to understand what Istikhara actually is. It’s not a dream. It’s not a magical sign. And it’s definitely not an escape from making tough decisions. Istikhara is a prayer , a heartfelt way of saying, “Ya Allah, I’ve done my part. Now I leave the outcome to You. Guide me to what’s best.”

When it comes to marriage Istikhara, many people get caught up waiting for a dream or expect to feel 100% certain afterward. But marriage is a big step , feeling nervous or unsure is completely normal. That doesn’t mean your Istikhara is a “no.”

What Istikhara actually does is open doors or close them. Maybe the process moves forward smoothly or maybe things start falling apart for reasons you didn’t expect. That’s Allah guiding you. But it doesn’t mean you walk away just because you feel anxious.